Margaret Edozie, Cohort 11, is from Texas, where she attended the University of St. Thomas in Houston. She served at Brilla Veritas Elementary in the South Bronx as a Seton Teaching Fellow for first and second grade.
“Ms. Edozie, can I choose a song to play?” I nodded and repeated my answer from earlier. “Yes, you can, but it has to be about Jesus.” The second-grade disciple was pensive but excited as she tried to recall the name of the song she wanted to hear.
“Yes, I have a song about Jesus. It’s the one we sang before that we all really like…” I already knew what she wanted to choose. I listened as my El Camino students sang along (quite loudly, as always) to the song Good Good Father. Each time I heard them sing, I couldn’t help but feel struck by this ordinary yet profound moment.
“You Are Not An Orphan”
Throughout my day as a fellow, I have often heard the Lord’s voice reminding me “You are not an orphan.” Living and serving in the Bronx has shown me my tendency to avoid reliance on the Father. The busyness of each minute and the perpetual checklist of things to do can tempt me away from embracing daughterhood. Rather than follow the way of trust and obedience to God, it can be all too easy to take matters into my own hands. Or when things get seriously difficult, like “everyone in the building is sick and you are holding on by a thread” kind of difficult, the tendency towards despair and complaining comes easily.
Lessons from the Elder Son
During Lent, I had been reflecting on the story of the Prodigal Son. The response of the elder brother particularly struck me. At first, I thought his anger was simply an issue of justice, an annoyance that his brother received no clear reprimand for his actions. Yet what he actually expresses is the frustration that he submitted to his father for so many years but never seemed to get anything from it.
I’ve felt that same prayer of desperation when you have poured into your students for days upon days, tried (and failed) your best to live the mission, but the fruits of all that attention seem nowhere to be found. In theory, the elder son did everything right, at least exteriorly, but he chose to dwell outside of his identity as a beloved son. He grows in resentment because his attitude has led him to exist outside of relationship to his Father — to exist more as a slave than a son.
Looking to Christ and His Relationship with the Father
However, living as a daughter was never meant to be merely passive or submissive. Think of Christ as our model. In living out His Divine Filiation, Jesus accomplished the great works of the Father and secured our salvation. Yet He did this in loving union with God. He speaks so beautifully of his relationship to the Father: “Righteous Father, though the world does not know you, I know you, and they know that you have sent me. I have made you known to them, and will continue to make you known in order that the love you have for me may be in them and that I myself may be in them.” (John 17:25)
Pause.
Please just take a moment to read those words again slowly to yourself. How wonderful a gift this is! Within the Sacred Heart, there is a burning desire to make the Father known to all mankind. What blessedness I feel when I realize that Jesus desires my participation in this mission of making the Father known, especially to my first, second and fifth grade students.
Receive the Gift
So when I hear the Lord speak those words to me, “You are not an orphan,” He reminds me to set my gaze towards Him. He reminds me to surrender, asking for what I need and receiving the great things He gives. And the Father gives good gifts: “If you, though you are wicked, know how to give good things to your children, how much more will the Heavenly Father give to those who ask.” (Matthew 7:11) It is a moment of great joy to know that He looks at me and my work with the careful attention of a Father.
As I look upon the faces I see in the school hallways and on the street corners, I know that each person has a deeply rooted identity as a daughter or son. That knowledge brings such great peace. I can hear the Lord say to me: “That child, he’s not an orphan. He is my beloved child.” So I grow in hope and in my desire to tell others about God the good Father. He seeks to rescue us all from our own patterns of orphanhood. Though it doesn’t always look like belting out praise and worship, it is a treasure to experience this with my El Camino class. It is something for which I am truly grateful.
