A Reflection by STF Alumna Lauren Witt

It’s a scene I know will stay with me for a long time: a kindergartener shouts up at me with an imploring look, “Where’s the Bible? I want to pray! I want to do ‘Jesus, deliver me.’” She wasn’t referring to an actual Bible but rather my 1962 Roman Missal. With this five-year-old I was dealing with, we quickly came to the mutual understanding that this little, black book was the Bible.  

The Most Unexpected Circumstance

The first time we said some of the Missal’s morning prayer together, I was running late. I woke up with only enough time to hurriedly put myself together. In minutes I headed from my community house to 7:20am breakfast duty at Romero Academy at Annunciation. At that point, I didn’t have my whole morning prayer ritual memorized, so I brought the book with me. Breakfast was my time to get to know students in grades that I didn’t support, which included kindergarten. On this day, a particular girl noticed me peeking in the Missal while unwrapping breakfast bars and peeling oranges.  She wanted to pray, too!

I told her I was praying the Litany of the Holy Name of Jesus and taught her the responses.  I’m still not sure how much this 5-year-old understands phrases like “Through Thy cross and dereliction, Jesus, deliver us.”  Even so, this became the first of our many morning litanies together.

Four years before, I would never have imagined this precious image being part of my life.  Near the beginning of the 2020 pandemic, I entered a small, liberal arts college. Along with me, I brought my loose Protestant background and a growing desire to join the Catholic Church.  Though my family did not do much to outwardly practice our Christian faith, by the grace of God, I had always been drawn towards a more encompassing relationship with Him. 

A couple years of private study convicted me of the truth of Catholic claims.  Heavy COVID-19 restrictions at my college prevented any steps for a year, but as a sophomore, I completed RCIA and received the Sacraments of Confirmation and First Holy Communion at the 2022 Easter Vigil.  Obviously, this was and always will be one of the greatest moments of my life: my full entrance into the true Church established by Christ, my reception of the gifts of the Holy Spirit, my little homecoming before the ultimate homecoming in Heaven!

Yet, the reality was a bit messier.

The Reality of Conversion: Hope Through Suffering

He held on and helped me not to let go…I knew big things were coming and I just had to wait.

As I entered my twenties, I found myself as a brand new Catholic with a supportive but non-Catholic family, an extremely anti-Catholic school environment, almost no Catholic friends, and a laundry list of serious personal struggles that were all making it difficult to fully live out my faith in the way I desired.  I lost no time in learning the valuable lesson that a life of faith is no fairytale.  Our God is a God of transformation, but in His love and wisdom, that transformation happens how He sees fit. 

In my case, it certainly did not unfold in the immediate way I would have wanted.  The reality of my conversion story was a jumble of happiness and conviction and pain and loneliness, but thankfully some perfect fix was never my motivation.  I became Catholic because I knew it was the fullness of the truth, and I craved that unparalleled encounter with Jesus in the Eucharist.  That sustained me through years of suffering and gave me hope when I genuinely felt like I was tethered to our Lord by the most fragile string.  He held on and helped me not to let go…I knew big things were coming and I just had to wait.

Conversion with Direction

One of the great experiences in my earliest time as a Catholic was attending the SEEK23 Conference in St. Louis.  Out of the many amazing moments, one that seemed less significant at the time was picking up a pamphlet for the Seton Teaching Fellows.  It went in my drawer when I got home and stayed there untouched for six months until, through a series of events, I felt a pull from the Lord to be a teacher—even though I was an Economics major.

Immediately, the sight of that STF pamphlet came to mind.  The process unfolded quickly and with a lot more trust than active discernment on my part.  I still didn’t know how to really make decisions with the Lord, but I had this strong feeling that being a Seton Teaching Fellow was the big shift that God had in store for me.  

Preparing for a Year of Transformation

In my interviews for Seton Teaching Fellows, I stressed how I felt the program was a combination of all of the things I was looking for post-college. With its Four Marks, I was excited for STF’s integral formation, bold community, and experience teaching with an integrated, Christian approach.  Fundamentally, I was ecstatic about the opportunity to more intentionally serve God’s kingdom, and move from newly catechized to catechist.

Once I got the job, I excitedly awaited a new start.  I had countless tangible experiences of God answering smaller prayers along my journey! Now, I was faithfully counting on His ability to inspire radical transformation according to His perfect timeline.

A Witness of God’s Generosity

I will carry with me an understanding of how every moment in education has the capacity to be evangelistic and life-changing.

Everyone’s experience as a Fellow is different, but I can honestly say now that all of my expectations were blown out of the water by witnessing of the Lord’s generosity. This year gave me a pure joy that I had not experienced in a long time.  I learned to pray and fall in love with Jesus in a deeper way than I ever had before.  My very intellectual and analytical conversion morphed into an exquisite romance with Love Himself. When I finished living with my community, I walked away with seven lifelong friends who modeled prayerful, heart-led relationships with Christ. 

The Bible verse on standing out as I wrapped up my Fellow year was John 21:17: “Lord, You know everything; You know that I love You.” How do I show that as a fellow, now as a normal teacher, and always as a Christian? The Lord knows that I love Him, and knows how I fail to love Him. Yet, he knows how I desire to serve Him! How do I thank Him for his consoling – and also the challenging – gifts since the start of my Catholic journey?

A Witness to God’s Generosity in the Classroom

Just like conversion, and faith in general, mission is not easy. It’s about conforming to the Lord’s will, carrying your cross, and growing in virtue and love. These are no simple feats. Yet, unlike what I faced before, the Fellow Year is the type of challenge unmatched in beauty and meaning:

I can play “monster” at our Pre-K’s recess day after day. I can spend my lunch break hearing about a scholar’s tough time.  A Kindergartener may even accidentally sneeze in my face – I’ll laugh about my certain incoming cold. In the classroom, I can branch out of my comfort zone and give of my time to my students. I’ll recite litanies with kindergarteners and hold their tiny hands in prayer.  I can even serve my colleagues while receiving their service to me. In all this, I experienced unimaginable joy and surrender as my whole life changed in one short year.

Through all these enchanted moments, he knows that I love Him, and His love transforms me exactly as He plans.

Lauren Witt of Cohort 11, is from Hinsdale, Illinois, and she attended Wellesley College in Boston. She served at Romero Academy at Annunciation in Cincinnati as a Seton Teaching Fellow for fifth and sixth grade. After accepting a job at her placement school, she now serves as the 6th and 7th grade Science Teacher.